[Tea-Table Miscellany Contents]
SEE, sirs, see here! a Doctor rare,
Who travels much at home!
Here take my bills, they cure all ills,
Past, present, and to come;
The cramp, the stich, the squirt, the itch,
The gout, the stone, the pox,
The mulligrubs, the wanton scrubs,
And all Pandora’s box:
Thousands I’ve dissected,
Thousands new erected,
And such cures effected,
As none e’er can tell;
Let the palsie shake ye,
Let the cholick rack ye,
Let the crinkums break ye,
Let the murain take ye,
Take this, take this and you well:
Thousands, &c.
–
Come wits so keen, devour’d with spleen,
And beaux who’ve sprain’d your backs,
Great-belly’d maids, old founder’d jades,
And pepper’d vizard cracks;
I soon remove the pains of love,
And cure the amorous maid,
The hot, the cold, the young, the old,
The living and the dead;
I clear the lass with wainscot-face,
And from pim-ginets free
Plump ladies red like Saracen’s head
With toping ratasee.
This, with a jirk, will do your work,
And scour ye o’er and o’er;
Read, judge, and try; and if you die,
Never believe me more.
